Past, Present, and Future

In the present, can't focus on the future, because I am stuck in the past. It so hard being in the present. My life flashing before my eyes so fast I can't keep up. As the years went by, I knew I was going to have challenges throughout the years. Wondering would life will be in the future. I always wondered; how would my life be. I think about things from my past saying, if I was on the same first chapter will it be the same story.

I'm going to the 2nd chapter, the 3rd chapter as the story continues, I'm still thinking about the first chapter. It's a new story being told. Wait. What about the other story? I want to know what happens. It's better than the first story. I said. No, it won't. My next story is different from the story before. It's hard getting through this chapter to get to the next chapter. I'm struggling with this chapter trying to pay attention to my chapter, to be honest, I don't want to. Imagining how's my life on this page. Asking myself why? Why am I doing this? Why is it hard to understand? Why I can't stay away from the past?

I am going chapter to chapter missing pages I haven't been through yet. I need to find those pages in my life. There are so many questions need to be answered. Feeling empty with pages not there. Shutting myself out. The pages might be there just don't want it to be in this chapter. Overlooking the pages what to feel in my own story. Why, now. What's next? I believe I'm doing what I'm supposed to do. I feel incomplete with the pages missing. I'm asking myself, will there be another story?

Am I going back to the first story I started with to see to finish the chapters or if see will it change again? I'm keeping this story to see if it stays the same or changes. We say let's see what happened in the last chapter before we start at the beginning. If I have my own story I will be lost. Trying to do the beginning over. Where would I start? Are the pages being torn from my life? How will it end? Redoing my own story my life be torn. I will still think about my first story. The chapters I passed is the best part of the story.

By EearthAngel